Monkey Knife Fight

Celebrating the toughest, gnarliest, steepest, brutalest, ridiculousest roads you'll ever ride while raising money to help kids, Monkey Knife Fight returns on Saturday, April 12th with 4 distinct ride length options, all with lots of climbing over the steep & dirty hills of southeast Pennsylvania. Monkey Knife Fight has been a classic of the spring Mid-Atlantic calendar since 2009!

PROCEEDS BENEFIT:

Dream Come True who fulfill the dreams of kids with a life-threatening illness or an illness that has significantly altered their lifestyle. The Velodrome Fund oversees the Valley Preferred Cycling Center (aka “The Velodrome” aka “T-Town”) which is one of the country's premier cycling venues, holds community programs for all ages, and is our new start/finish venue!

THIS IS NOT A RACE It is a social ride, because misery does love company. Most of the routes are paved, with dirt road "sectors" that are as sharp as any knife you'd ever find on a monkey. There are also options to make the courses shorter (and avoid some of the truly brutal climbs). 
It's also a charity ride. Which means no refunds, so consider using BikeReg's registration insurance. Transfers are allowed. You can do that through BikeReg.

WHAT'S IT LIKE? This video sums it up pretty well and you can learn lots about it at @RideMonkeyKnifeFight and on our Facebook page, too.

THREE ROUTES TO CHOOSE FROM Check out the routes to see what you're in for. Just don't poke yourself in the eye looking at all the pointy bits on the elevation profile. These routes are subject to change, so don't upload them to your devices until we send the final routes over email.

GORILLA is the big beast for 70 miles with 12 unPAved roads and 7 categorized climbsBABOON is no joke for 50 miles with 9 unPAved roads and 6 categorized climbsMARMOSET seems small but feels big for 33 miles with 5 unPAved roads and 3 categorized climbsORANGUTAN is our new clean route for 60 miles with 0 dirt roads and 5 legit climbs

START/FINISH LOCATION Valley Preferred Cycling Center is our new venue, with loads of parking, locker rooms, food & beer vendors, and a big ol’ plaza to throw the Sponsorific Swagtastic Raffle Post-Party in.

SIGN-IN Check in at the Velodrome's ticket booth to sign the waiver, get your number and swag anytime between 7:30 and 10am.

NO MASS-START You can start anytime between 8-10am after you check-in, sign the waiver, and get your number.

AID STATIONS Gorilla & Baboons will go by the St. John Hill Church up to 3 times and Orangutans will go by this Aid Station once. There will be hydration, prepackaged snacks, porta-johns, and you can have a drop bag sent there. There will also be hydration available for Marmosets on their route.

HYDRATION WILL BE "DRY" This event has a history with, shall we say, "spirited" and "hoppy" aid stations but we are turning off the taps, so to speak. They'll still be fun, lively and filled with delicousness so make sure you stop to refuel properly. There will be recovery beverages from New Trail Brewing Co. at the Finish so get to there safe & sound!

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU Carry what you need if you have a mechanical. You will be expected to fix your own flats and do minor repairs. No follow vehicles or outside support vehicle of any type will be allowed as it is unsafe to have a caravan of vehicles following the ride.

"I CAN WIN A PRIZE? BUT YOU SAID THIS IS NOT A RACE!!!" True, but we are going to have some fine things that you could win at the Sponsorific Swagtastic Raffle! Here's how it works...

You get a raffle ticket for starting & finishing and will earn more for each categorized climb that you get to the top of.Collect your raffle tickets at the finish line (it's the honor system, and karma is real).At the raffle tables: Write your name on the ticket and drop it in the bag for the prize you want to win.There will be drawings at 2pm, 3pm, 4pm, and when the last rider finishes.Hopefully you'll win a Swagtastic prize from one of our Sponsorific sponsors!

SAVE ENERGY FOR THE POST-PARTY Get back to T-Town for the tasty suds and grub available in the Velodrome, DJ Blake spinning the tunes (as the kids say?), and the Sponsorific Swagtastic Raffle. Plus it's the best time to commiserate about the climbs with your friends, old and new. There’s also a good chance we’ll find a spot later that night to watch a replay of Paris Roubaix Femmes together.

SUNDAY WILL BE HELL (of the North) Let’s also watch the men’s Paris Roubaix together at McCall’s Taphouse (just around the back of the Velodrome). Doors will open at 8:30am on Sunday morning and breakfast & beverages will be available while we geek out watching rockstars rock the cobbles.  

Have any questions? Give us a shout and go follow @RideMonkeyKnifeFight, the Facebook Page and Event Page for banter and updates.